You'll Be Okay

Maybe sometimes you need to break down. Maybe sometimes you need to break down to know you're okay.

Maybe you've been feeling lonelier than ever. Or maybe you've been denying it, but then you decide that there's no point lying to yourself anymore. 

It could be tough, but your sadness shouldn't have control over you. You have to be able to love yourself and give yourself what you deserve. To dramatically start my story, I was a little depressed and felt like I have no one in the last few weeks. There was nothing else but homesickness; all I wanted to do was to run from this strange land, go home and be with my family. The few close friends I have left in Busan, all of them are either busy working, spending time with their partners, or just not feeling like going out. I'm stuck at home alone with nothing to do and look forward to. 

That went on for several weeks until I broke down, crying realising everyone's life continues without me, yet my happiness has been depended on these people. I went out for a quick dinner with a friend, but she went back home straight after. I got home and just when I was about to get comfortable in bed, the thought of 'a perfectly fine day just got wasted like that' struck. So I put my clothes back on and took a walk for almost 2 hours, went to the beach and just stayed there for some time. One of my favorite things to do is going to the beach as I always find it soothing; the smell of the ocean, the feeling of the wind carressing my hair, and the sound of waves crashing on the shore. It was peaceful. It was my peace. Going to the beach, getting some fresh air helped more than I thought it would. It helped because it's mine, because I own it and when I'm in it, I calm down, slow down, and let go. That's why I could find myself singing and hopping on the way home from the beach. 

It came to me just like that; I just have to find my peace. Being alone doesn't mean being lonely.

So if you're stuck in loneliness, remember that you don't need to depend on anyone for your happiness because no one can love you more than yourself. Find your peace and go to sleep. You'll be okay.